Ministry class assignment 2

Ministry class assignment #2 – Humbleness

Lesson in humbleness… (Hypothetically would be for the Girl’s Ministry class)

Central message: The best lifting up is through God. He will lift up the humble.

Memory Verse:

Proverbs 16:19 Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Scripture:

Luke 15:11-32  -- Prodigal Son

¹¹ And he said, A certain man had two sons:

¹² And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

¹³ And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

¹⁴ And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

¹⁵ And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

¹⁶ And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

¹⁷ And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

¹⁸ I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

¹⁹ And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

²⁰ And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

²¹ And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

²² But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

²³ And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

²⁴ For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

²⁵ Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

²⁶ And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

²⁷ And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

²⁸ And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

²⁹ And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

³⁰ But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

³¹ And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

³² It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

Lesson:

We want to have a byline, share our two cents, and be recognized with admiration for our achievements; we are by nature prideful beings. Seems logically to receive praise for the accomplishments we have under our belts, but how much glory do we tend to rob? How many situations do we walk away with the glory that rightfully deserves to be in the hands of God?

 There is not one person who does not struggle with pride in one or many areas of their lives. And pride is a dangerous weakness to dwell in because Proverbs tells us God hates pride. God has a way of bringing those who were set up high to a lowly state and those who find their selves low in stature to a highly valued place.

The lowest person does not have anywhere to go but up and the highest can sometimes merely fall. Another example in scripture is David. David was the youngest of his siblings and God called him out and set him as King, whereas, the giant was arrogant and prideful in his ways and God made him fall.

In the story of the prodigal son, we are given a wonderful example of what happens when we let our guard down and slip off the pedestal we built ourselves and find ourselves in a low place needing His grace. At the beginning, the son has wealth and is living in a riotous manner. He has no concern for others and was probably self-absorbed. It does not take long for him to find himself in the pig pen where no one else will give to his want. (Note: only God through Christ can fulfill our need for salvation.)

It is when he is lowly that he finds himself to be humble. When he looks back to return to his father, he does not want the wealth he had, but rather he would be grateful just to work as a servant for his father. He does not think himself to deserve a place in his father’s house, but he realizes he could ask to serve his father.

This is a beautiful picture of a person who looks to God and knows they have nothing, but if they could only serve God it would make the difference in their life.

Once the son returns, he is given more than he could have ever anticipated. His father welcomes him back with open arms and adorns him with his very best. God gives us the best when He gives of Himself through Christ and Holy Spirit. So, our Heavenly Father places value on those who are lowly. When we have nothing, but a willingness to turn, repent and serve Him, He gives us everything.

The older brother is then pulled aside in his anger for his father’s unmerited favor toward the younger son. The older brother sets outside the celebration because pride creates jealousy in his heart. He has the same access to his father’s riches and gifts, but it is untold if he lets go of his anger to join the celebration.

Pride can take many forms in our lives and sometimes we do not even realize it is there, but it still separates us from our father. Whether you are in the pig pen after spending everything you thought belonged to you or you think you are playing ever card the right way, pride can sweep in and bring you to a low place which only your Heavenly Father can lift you from.

Supporting Scripture:

Psalm 138:6 Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.

Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Ezekiel 21:26 Thus saith the Lord God; Remove the diadem, and take off the crown: this shall not be the same: exalt him that is low, and abase him that is high.

Proverbs 16:19 Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Proverbs 29:23 A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.

Activity options:

1.) Tug a war in mud. Flesh and pride are opposite forces of spirit and humbleness. They will pull in opposite directions and the mud to symbolize being in the pig pen similarly to the prodigal son and/or our filthy righteousness.

2.) Fire pit. Take several scraps of paper and write the things you have failed at, things you might not like about yourself, things from the past. Throw those papers in the fire and discuss how God takes us when we are imperfect and we have value because he created value in us. He gives us freedom to walk away with the fire of His spirit in us and no longer those things that hinder our walk with Him. 

Essay for Ministry Class

I continue to neglect my blog, but enjoyed this writing so thought I would share. 

Essay for Ministry Class

In the moment when all commotion ceases, where the noise transcending the air dulls and clarity rushes your mind and soul despite the atmosphere seen through physical eyes, it is at this moment when no doubt can push aside the presence of God in your heart. I have experienced these moments where God makes the things of this life seem so simple, and yet have other times where I tug to fight confusion for my next step forward. However, when all the dust settles the truth will always remain, and the truth is, God has placed purpose in my life.

I have always had the inclination I was mostly average in just about every area of life. When I was younger I automatically assumed God gave talents and those talents depicted how someone was called to serve God in ministry. Within this concept I have never found myself to really fit into and clique. I could not carry a tune, so worship leading was not for considering. I never felt lead to preach; studying is not my forte. Due to a difficult childhood, dealing with the older generations through a nursing home ministry did not stand out to me, and I was usually quite terrified of traveling. Therefore, my options were diminishing. My prayer as a young teen trying to search out my calling from God turned into a cry to experience motherhood knowing I could cling to the role of parenting.

Of course, now I have been able to grow up some, and while I have been granted the position of Mommy, I have learned so much more about God’s ministry work beyond this title. First, I do not need a talent in any field. I need only to have willingness. After all, it is His ministry, not mine. There is not much use in attempting to place God in my box when His capabilities far outweigh my own. So, when I try to answer the question as to why I feel called into ministry, it is because I could not imagine anyone not called. Ministry can take many forms. Typically, we perceive it as a genre of work that progresses the church body. While my efforts are not to weaken this perception, I feel God’s ministry comes in the form of merely sharing His truth and love.  Granted, there are those who taint His ministry by jumping into a position trying to utilize tools God has not equipped them with, but if broken down to its purest form there would be features of God’s truth and love missing replaced with selfishness or fleshly desires. God’s truth and love are key components to ministry’s recipe and we bring willingness to the table. These aspects along with others are then orchestrated to further the will of God; His will that none should perish. I feel called because there is a fire of willingness unexplainable leading me to act within God’s truth and love.

Along with the feeling of being called to serve God through ministry, He takes the time to direct and guide me. He has sent me in several directions, but cleverly to areas of teaching in most cases. When I think about children learning, I feel as if I would move those mountains to make clear a way for them to see the God we serve more undoubtedly. The cloud of smoke from the enemy firing shots around our children is thick and deceiving. I take responsibility in swatting away the smoke for a better picture of the truth and love God would have them see. Being raised in a family wrapped in hypocritical religion, rarely did I feel loved or valued. It was only when I experienced the true love God offered me did I wipe the scales from my eyes, and this is a process which continues as we grow closer to Him. I want to make available myself so God can have others have this experience and others with Him.

Overall, I feel called to work with children. I will work with them where ever God puts me. Currently, I have been giving the opportunity in a few different areas. He has opened the door in my home to minister to my children. I pray He will hear my cry to open our home up to more children in the future through the means of adoption. Time will tell, but I have faith he will make adoption a reality. I could write more than three pages alone on the ministry of adoption and how it relates to our Heavenly Father adopting us into His family. Also, I have had the privilege to lasso the Girl’s Ministry for our church. There are so many bumps along the way. One moment I will feel empowered in this ministry and in the next breath I will feel overwhelmed. It takes a great deal of trust to lean to God and not my own understanding in all ministry work. It is a great deal of work and with each stride I tend to question my capabilities in some areas while remaining confident in others. I see God touching the lives of the girls involved with this ministry and while I am rewarded with the time I spend with these girls, I also want them to feel loved and valued. The desire I have for the girls to learn who God is and to make the relationship they have with Him real triumphs my skittish thoughts in the processes.

Similarly to the Girl’s Ministry, I have the opportunity to work with girls through coaching basketball. This is a dream come true for me. Aside from God saving my soul and reaching out to me, playing basketball when I was a teen was another lifeline I held tightly to in the darkest parts of my life. I am able to push girls to greater lengths they might have otherwise not known they were capable of and all the while having a lot of fun. Many of the challenges they face on the court can be a direct replica of areas of difficulty off the court. Some might see a game or a sport, but when looking closer there is a picture painting examples of real life. In all ministry work, there is an opportunity to display the examples God has outlined for us through truth and love.

The only clear vision I have for the future of the ministry work I am involved in is to continue to provide those examples of the true Word of God and His love. I am willing to take the measures necessary to move in the right direction with my ministry work, but my prayer at the end of the day will always be for God to have His will and move me accordingly. 

What do you value...

So, there has been tons on my mind for a little while now, and I've decided I might write some to keep my brain from kicking into overload.

I’ve been approached a number of times in a number of areas with regard to what I value.  It’s quite typical and at times a positive aspect of life to bring into question our values. And it shouldn't surprise many there are those superior humans who have taken the role of doing this for others; after all, it’s always a great service to point out differences that might lead others to conform to our higher ways of thinking. You might note here I enjoy sarcasm, especially in light of our fleshly nature, since we have the tendency to think we have it all together when it’s really just a yarn ball mess of loose ends.

I’ve heard quite often what we invest our time, energy and resources in is usually evidence for what we value in life. So, with this logic, you could conclude I value, eating, shelter, warmth, church, and my family among other things. Of course, while these areas of my life are apparent, there are those areas of our lives hidden behind doors. What’s so amazing to me is those things aren't really hidden at all, not from a God when He holds our transparent heart in His hands.

I wonder what He might see as being valued by us through our daily activity in action. I bet there are those who have regard for things like, this world, this life, our comfort, the easy way, and of course we can’t forget me, myself and I. I mean, half the time I hear a testimony of what God has done in someone’s life it is filled with uplifting one’s self in an attempt to gain attention. Really look at comments you've made, Facebook statuses posted, and maybe even prayers you've prayed and see how many times you refer to yourself rather than the power of God. Let me stop right here and let you know, I’m not writing to point fingers on the big rotten spot on your fruit, I am just getting these words out there and noticing my own decay of unrighteousness.

The first hang-up I mentioned was this world. Which brings me to James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Anything this world has to offer should be a red flag for us to turn in the opposite direction. In fact, we need maybe to run or sprint the other way. This world and its breeding ground for corruption is the last thing we need as God continues a separation in a time of harvest (Matthew 13). I’ve seen those wrapped up in their favorite television show, favorite political discussion, or an image set before as an idol for what we think life should be like disguised as an American dream. None of which should be of high value in our lives when taking into account our eternal life.

Anyone can see comfort and the easy way is a concept served on a silver platter by our culture. Have someone else do all the work for us and we will enjoy its produce. This is quite saddening and very present in the typical church environment. We go to a service in a building where fellowship serves us well, and we tend to forget all the dedication and hard work behind the scenes by those who are truly following after God’s mission He has called us to fulfill. Granted, we can’t all be the same part of Christ’s body as the church, but I must have missed the section declaring sitting and enjoying everyone else’s blessing without freely giving of ourselves as a working body part.

All of those values leading us to corruption and a sad ending are those wrapped in self. It’s quite clear there is something bigger, something bigger than just my happiness, my fulfillment and my existence. We all have our own areas where self flares its big head. Personally, I don’t have the problem of being wrapped in making myself a pretty image for the world to see. It’s a rarity for me to take the time for makeup, and yet, I’ve heard others say they couldn’t step out the door without putting their face on for the day. Really, is that the face you want to construct?  I also don’t take lightly the jobs God has given me and neglect His commission to be a parent. I won’t leave my kids to the wolves in sheep clothing. It is an area of life where I tend to be more assertive. But, then again, it doesn’t mean I don’t have my own areas where values should come into check.

However, with all this said and the simple knowledge given where values are those things in life we give energy, time and resources; I have to add a little something. It is those things we will sacrifice for, die for and live everything for, that are valued more highly. Now don’t jump to any conclusions. I’m not here to provide you a hierarchy of things to value. It should be God first and then He will assist you in all other areas. Trust me; it took me a little while to realize this after being fed the list of God, husband, children, church, blah blah blah. In a moment by moment life, God is the one who should keep our motives and values in check, not the prideful person with a telescope on one eye and a beam in the other.

With all this rambling, just try to remember when we sacrifice, die for and live everything for the mission God has set before us; we can see a bigger picture worth valuing.   

A long time coming…

Oh no, I’ve fell into the pit of neglecting my blog. If anyone knows me, usually, my blogs are insight toward a subject I feel lead to write about concerning a topic God has given me. Not that this is any different, however, the following blog will be a little more personal and not so structured.

This morning consisted of a picture many families are familiar with as an attempt is made to avoid the snooze button and roll from the comfort of a blaring fan and cozy covers with the task of awakening the cubs. My first bear to stir is Autumn. The fact that she isn't a morning person doesn't even begin to describe the adventure presented by each morning. She is a limp body of Jell-O while I spray through the crazy curls and use a comb to tame any strands possibly with full knowledge the mess will creep back around three in the afternoon.  My second bear it quite familiar with crocodile rolls and screeching while changing the diaper. Nevertheless, we make it through our morning routine and crawl into the vehicle so taxi-Mom can transport eldest bear, Autumn, to school.

While scurrying to her seat today, Autumn informed me of a message I had given her the night before. She told me that Jesus wants everyone to be nice (kind) to each other. This is what I had told her in light of her and her sister screaming and fighting in the car ride home from church. I was filled with the joy with my daughter grasping a very valuable concept, and it was at this moment I stopped and had one of those flash back moments. A flash back to all the struggles we have been through together with Autumn in several areas of life.

I don’t recall ever mentioning this on my blog, so some may know and others not, but Autumn has been diagnosed with a couple of conditions which create difficulties. And unless you have lived with us, it is sometimes hard to understand what a label might mean for us. After years of good moments and rough ones, this label Autumn has is now just a big testimony to what God can do and change.

You see, Autumn has an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism, and she struggles daily with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. While these words are foreign to many, they have been a motivation jumping board for us to send us in a good direction.

Dealing with Autumn and who she is with these two aspects of her personality is a journey, one without a clear destination at this point. Though, we are thrilled as we have a magnifying glass on the progress. We give God glory for such changes we see even when it may seem very small. One big change that has manifested throughout the last several years is her verbal capabilities in a school setting. 

When she was 2 and half years old, we placed her in a daycare while I worked full time. She spent six months in one facility and never spoke a word to anyone. She was getting hurt and the teachers bypassed her since she was so quiet. Round 2 took place at another daycare facility for 6 months where she only spoke a couple of words very quietly to her peers when she felt no one was looking or listening. A year passed where she stayed in my care with her sister, and then when I went back to work this last time we were able to place her in a private school setting at age 4. She did remarkably well speaking after about 4 months, but still struggled. She had her limitations and continued to refuse verbal responses to most questions, especially when they pertained to education type material.

What’s so amazing is comparing what she was so long ago to where she is now. Last week she began her first week in a pre-K program (Yes, we let her have another year of pre-K instead of starting Kindergarten early according to her birthday). The first day when she jumped in the vehicle after school, I asked her and her teacher if she had ate anything because with her anxiety sometimes she won’t eat in front of others or in loud crowded areas. The teacher told me she had eaten a cheese stick and yogurt. Autumn looked at the teacher and spouted off that she had ate a banana also. To any other parent, this simple interaction would have come and gone with little regard.

Not for me. I was doing a touchdown dance inside. Not only had she ate her food, which is a huge hurdle for her, but she has just spoken out loud to her teacher on the very first day of school.

Since that day, her teachers have informed me that she speaks openly with them in small group settings and has been very outgoing. We have not had any problems with her eating her lunches at school. I can’t even begin to explain how big of an accomplishment this is for her in the school setting.

As you can tell, this was not an overnight accomplishment either. As parents we have had lots of prayer time and recently, had the privilege of traveling to Chicago for a weeklong camp where counselors worked one-on-one with Autumn in a school setting to face her fears and teach her to replace her fear with brave. While she was being worked with, Brandon and I were in the parent meetings soaking in as much as humanly possible from the psychologist and the parents of other children with similar issues.

I just want to stop here and say, it was so great to see that there were other parents in the same boat with us. It was beginning to feel very lonely with the criticism we have faced as parents. Sure, there are those who believe Autumn is young and her behavior linked to these diagnosis is only a stage, and yes, we could have went on some elaborate vacation with the money required for this camp, but when she spoke to her teacher on the first day of school, it was priceless.

It would take me all day to describe what we were faced with in the past and how different life with Autumn is now. Sure, we still face daily nail-biting frustrations with parenting a child like Autumn where sensory processing is a task in itself, but those few successes along the way and the tiniest of miracles we see are fuel to get us further along in our journey.

Autumn is precious with purpose, and right now, I’m convinced that purpose is for Brandon and I to become the parents God intended us to be for these cubs and any in the future. 

Responsibility for your child's education system...

After taken from my fish-bowl mini-world yesterday (which occurs periodically), I am left gasping, looking to catch my breath in the sight of a huge component to our big picture, the educational system of this world.

Never have the words “train up your child” meant so much to me. Yes, as a mother, I am my child’s first education source, and I view this role with highest regards. In addition, I have the responsibility of monitoring all sorts of educational input as well.

And it’s not like the education system makes it easy for parents. As a college-grad, I myself find following the maze of explanations to the school system a tricky business. I can only imagine the frustrations from other parents trying to get a grip on curriculum goals and expectations being presented to their children. Most remain ignorant to what goes on in the classroom while the remainder of parents who have a deep desire to be informed are weighed down by confusion.

Granted not every parent has the opportunity to come sit in a different classroom a couple days a week, but that is just how I have gained a large portion of my knowledge to the working classroom concerning the school system. (I’m a visual learner.)

Sure, board members may define learning standards, but as those instructions trickle down through officials, staff and teachers, learning standards are sometimes morphed by the time they reach students. Sadly, a child attending a new school, in an upper-class neighborhood with a highly involved principal may breed good ground for successful teachers planting seeds for learning while 10 miles in another direction there are different circumstances. Those different circumstances often lead to a student body scarce of the much needed learning standards being preached to parents.

Many times a student’s education is directly related to the teacher and for parents this is a risk they face in large public school systems. Will my child fall into a well structured class where the teacher takes measures necessary to make the environment positive and enriched with appropriate learning or will they get a teacher with a personality clash, inflexible and who falls into instilling unwanted morale lessons in the children’s minds?

The risk may seem of no importance to some or they may not have other options to avoid this risk of the unknown. Others have sought out additional educational choices through homeschooling or with private school, and in some cases, a mixture of both.

Of course, no matter the decision parents make for their children, they need to be mindful of the education their children are receiving.

I’ve set in classrooms where children progressed through the day learning new concepts and building from previous gained knowledge in an appropriate environment. However, I have also encountered burned-out teachers wading in negativity, inappropriate music for movement time, staff more concerned with screaming and surfing the Internet than with a teachable moment, gossip running ramped, and that doesn't even dip into deep end of some things happening across schools every day.  

Now, I'm not saying private or home schools are immune, but parents tend to have more proactive weight and involved decision making, and that is what your role as a parent-educator is all about.

It’s about parents getting back into the driver’s seat when it comes to all of their child’s education, not just occasionally in the areas they feel most comfortable. If God holds a Pastor accountable for his sheep (congregation), how much more are we responsible for the children we have in our homes?

It frustrates me when parents hit roadblocks in their child’s education and are left with the feeling they have no other option. There are always choices to be made. Make the choice to push, to be involved, to be your child’s advocate, to make sure your child has an appropriate education.

What a friend I have..

I have a dear friend. A friend who rarely leaves me hanging when I have a question or would need information on a ray of topics. When others approach me for guidance in an area I am uncertain of, I simply refer them to my friend who tends to be a great help. My friend is always close by, easy to reach and knowledgeable in all areas of life anyone might encounter.

Wondering who my friend is? His name is Google.

Yes, I first began my friendship with Google in college and when working as a reporter, Google developed into my go-to resource.

When in need of information not coming quickly to mind or covering genres I don’t have previous experience with, I typically turn to Google.

So, with all this in mind, I began thinking why it is that Google is my go-to resource while Scripture is just casual reading material?

2 Timothy 2:15 says to study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly diving the word of truth.

This commonly known piece of the Word is often spoken as a reminder to study Scripture to show ourselves approved. Approved to whom? God. That’s a big statement in itself, but it goes on to say, this studying thing helps us divide information according to the Word of Truth.

The Bible is our ultimate resource as it expresses what is TRUTH and connects us to God. The words are words from our Creator.

John 1:1 says In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.

I’ve heard people say they need guidance from God and they are praying to hear a word from Him. While I’m not saying this is a bag concept, many times we bypass the fact that the Bible is a form of His spoken word and always offers guidance. Often times, the Bible is sitting on a shelf, while we blindly pretend to search out His will for our lives or His direction in our everyday situations.

I’m as guilty as the next. If someone were to ask me a question my usual response has been, “Google it.” Sadly, I have missed the opportunity to instead tell others to search it in Scripture.

When we have a question in regard to a situation, need advice or would like to give direction to a friend in help, our wisdom, knowledge and truth should be a source hooked into the Word of God to allow accurate leading of the Spirit.

I believe it is our tendency to forget the value in the word that God gives us. Sure, Google seems to be a popular search engine, but what about developing a friendship with the Word as our go-to resource for life’s questions and concerns. This would mean a change in habit and perspective.

We need to stop, out of habit, relying on the things offered to us by man and man’s understanding and come to understand His Word is not just printed material in a very large book, but rather, a powerful tool to use outlasting any other resource available.

Sure, Google might be replaced with Bing or Yahoo when Google is un-operatable, but the greatness of the Bible is it is always applicable and will never leave us.

Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth shall pass away; but my words shall not pass away. 

A devotion entry

I've wrote a summary before about my life's tstimony, so this is the condensed version.

I came from a  very hard and difficult childhood. The flowers were wilted in my garden and I lacked water. I only peered through an old discolored window envisioning something better than what was surrounding me. I knew nothing of a world worthy of happiness. What I understood was constant disappointment and heartbreak.

Tears would trickle across my face each night as a young girl hoping for my dad to come back again. I wanted a close realtionship with him so badly but knew I could not make him choose me over the things of the world. Of course, once I learned of a heavenly Father who did want me, my life changed.

I don't remember the exact date when God revealed Himself to me through salvation but the image of that day is burned within my heart forever. The day began with me preparing for my grandmother to take me to VBS at church. The only time I was able to attend church functions or services was when my grandma rescued me from my life of shambles for the day.

At VBS I requested prayer for my dad as I had many times before. A lady prayed in a way I was unfimilar with, and she seemed to bypass my request for my dad and instead prayed for salvation for my family. I knew church allowed me to escape, but I didn't know of the personal relationship being offered with open arms.

It was later that evening when I was getting ready for bed that my loneliness was creeping up again ready to show it's ugly head. I had come to a crossroads where, even at age 9 or 10, I felt I had a choice to make concerning my future. Would I continue crying in exhaustion for others to make a move on my behalf, or would I be adopted in by the Heavenly Father I had casually heard about in the midst of craft time. I decided that night was the last one I would spend crying tears of pain from a lonely torment and instead God began a work in my life to turn those tears into joy.

Joy came in the morning for me, and I could never express my gradititude for God's adoption plan.

This Evening’s Dream: An actual account of my dream.

Most people might chuckle at the remembrance of some of the bizarre ideas and pictures created within their dreams at night. Our minds can take what we see, think or imagine and throw those thoughts together in what can sometimes be comical situations beyond what is our reality.

For some reason I’ve never felt the need to chuckle in the face of my dreams. In fact, there are times I dread remembering my dreams so vividly when I wake. I don’t recall details of these dreams often, but when I do, they are powerful and so real they linger with me throughout the day.

See, I believe that God uses our dreams sometimes as a communication tool.  It is in this realm that I have a better understanding of the fear of the omnipotent God I serve. I am no longer in the way of His spirit. The power kick to my mind and emotions can bring tears to my eyes all day after a dream. Today this is where I am at after such an intense message shown to me as I woke from last night’s dream.

I find it odd, but first I must let you know that I don’t always dream from my own perspective. It’s like a novelist who writes from a character’s perspective. So, with this in mind, the following is what I recall from my dream.

He (the perspective of an adult man) found himself in a pool of dead, mutilated bodies of all ages. His first thought is, am I the only survivor of such horrific killings? But while that thought quickly fades, he realizes the danger and now with every part of himself seeks to get as far away from the catastrophic destruction and deadly mess that surrounds him. While inching his way through the surrounding blood and bodies, he comes across one other man who surprisingly is still living. The living man has also fell prey to the mutilation and has had his arms cut off.

Determined to escape the center of this evil and danger that is ever approaching, he decides he is going to get away and he is taking the living man without arms with him. Propped on his shoulder is the weight of the injured and their quest to leave has begun. Of course, before he runs away from the felt danger, he needs to know where he is going.

It becomes clear to him the seriousness of the danger is from armed authority figures at every corner ready to kill as people come closer to the center of the city. He understands he is the only one wanting to leave the city. All others are acting as if tourists cheerfully mesmerized by the city becoming more consumed with what they were being shown through wall-size glass windows instead of viewing the danger waiting for them in the center of the city. The danger they blindly grew closer to was authority figures ready to create a blood bath.

The man, now accompanied by an injured man, hid in different areas as he went further and further away from the city’s center and while doing so, he tried so earnestly to shout at all the people being led the other way. He wanted so badly for them to hear his warning, but they ignored him with their eyes glazed over by the city’s attractions.

There was only one small child who heard him and joined his escape journey. It was a young boy not blinded by the city’s glamour. The three were successful in going through the maze-like city until they reached the top of hills and seen in a distance the beautiful sight of lavish green grass with thick, waving trees in the country side.  They had found safety!

This is at what point I woke up in total awe of my deep feelings of relief and at the same time sorrow. I had felt the intense rushes associated with escaping hundreds of armed men. With my knowledge of Scripture, this dream was nothing to wince at and go on my merry way. I laid in bed going over the images that had engulfed me, making sure not to forget the details.

Messages in the dream were made apparent as I had just finished reading the last chapter of Revelation the day previous to this evening’s dream. I began to think about how people are heading in two directions, destruction or life. My heart began to weep for those so blinded by what they were being shown in narrow-mindedness unable to open their eyes wide enough to see a glimpse of God’s picture.

My pondering was made short as everyone else in my house was up and moving getting ready for church, so I joined them. Riding next to Brandon, I decided to share with him what I have just shared here. I explained the whole dream could be summed up by the idea that people are being led to the slaughter house unaware. This alone caused a few tears for the normally unemotional person that I am.

We pulled into the church parking lot and went about our business, but still I could not erase the images of this dream that continued to flash in my mind. I focused in on every word people were expressing in Sunday School and then during church service. I was seeing if I could find some direction in what to do with the dream that was so real to me. Just thinking about it now makes my heart race a little faster.

Sure enough, the message preached by Pastor was such an intense and provoking one. It was to set us moving forward for the goals of the coming days in the new year. However, there was one statement ringing louder in my ears than probably most others. He said if you have a vision you should write it down and run with it. So here I am writing down the vision God gave me. Now I know he was speaking of vision in terms of goals and to move in God’s will for my life, but I pulled a little from this in terms of the dream God had given me and decided to write about it. In the past, I have had similar dreams. Usually, the dreams that rock me to my core are the ones I rarely share with too many people. However, I decided to break away from censoring the material I provide for those taking the time to read my words.

I am writing this dream in hopes to help splash my eyes with some living water and open them a little wider so to avoid the path blinded by the deceitfulness in a city of destruction and encourage someone else to do the same.

Notes on the Armor of God

Ephesians 6:13-17

Take the whole armor of God. You need all of it to withstand evil coming through. Stand with loins girt about with the truth. The foundation of your attire is truth. Knowing what is truth will hold you together and has to be in place before anything else. If you are consumed with a lie, it will not allow you to fight evil. Having the breastplate of righteousness. Next, you have to have God's righteousness on your heart. Not your own righteousness, His! Your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of piece. You have to be prepared to know where your feet will take you and you will be prepared with the Gospel, word of God and His message of guidance. We will have peace and assurance in God as we make our moves in the battle.

Above all, taking the shield of faith. Our faith shields off the doubt evil throws our way. Take the helmet of salvation. Keeping the mind of Christ and kowing what He did to save us will help protect our mind from wicked thoughts to distract us from the fight. Sword of the spirit whic h is the word of God. Now that we have ourselves protected by God and what He has equiped us with, it's time to cut through the wickedness and destroy it with the word of God and the Spirit He gives us to have such power. NO GO FIGHT. :)

Shopping with Autumn

Shopping with Autumn is the worse. This uncontrollable 4-year-old takes the task to a new level and extends the time spent gathering food or other products far beyond my patient limit.

She is so distracted by displays, loves to pile unwanted and sometimes unhealthy merchandise into the cart, runs off on occasion, definitely has difficulty hearing when given directions, and has a million questions along the way. There is also the sudden need for restroom breaks at least twice while I am trying to find the right product for a coupon. Plus we cannot forget the few fits thrown about causing anyone in attendance to star our way.

Like I said, shopping becomes another playing field when brining along a preschooler.

While shopping, it is my only goal to get what is necessary for my family to tackle the upcoming week with the items they made need along the way. So while I think on my adventures shopping alongside my child, I can see a reflection of how God must feel with His children while seeking to provide for His family.

He is ready to supply us with necessities to approach our spiritual lives, all the while we are beside Him making things more difficult.

We are distracted easily by the junk food of this world and its displays of lust, greed, and hatefulness, while God is shopping for love, kindness and charity for our lives.

We run away from His will on occasion unaware of the danger that can present itself if we are not at our Father’s side. Following directions is not our strong suit as we can be head strong on our selfish desires with preconceived expectations and ideas because we aren’t hearing what God tells us. We definitely can develop a tendency to question what God knows we need in our life, making the journey more time consuming as we forget to trust that God knows best.

Sometimes we find any excuse to have pit stops delaying God’s goals for us. And of course, some of us have thrown tantrums as we try to turn the attention to ourselves.

Like I said, we make things more difficult for us as God is working to supply our spiritual needs. We have turned into spiritual preschoolers fighting what God knows is good for our growth and development.

Of course, much like Autumn at the grocery store, we are unaware of the difficulty we are creating as we stumble to learn what is acceptable and was is not. The best way to move beyond the preschool selfish mindset is to learn and mature. So, the next time God is dealing with you spiritually, stop and see if you are on his side or playing tug-a-war.

Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

Photo books are the perfect gift for any occasion.

Some of my Poetry

After having a friend show me some of her work, decided to post my old poetry from when I was a teen or early 20s. Remember, some of these were written when I was in high school. :) I'd like to think that I've matured in my writing since then. Of course, it is still nice to look back and see where I've come from.

Question of Faith

Trying to see what was in his heart

Not knowing where to start

Love, life and laughter

Are these what really matter?

He asked me time and time again

This is how we began

I knew not how to respond

He wanted that special bond

Thinking through and taking a chance

I breathed in and told him yes

The simple solution

Jerk, jab and smack

All are convenient for a physical attack

But what about the emotional state

How does this contemplate?

In the soul all the hurt and torture

Keeping you from being pure

All these opposite forces

Violence, death cruelty and divorces

Just a few of much more

The inner body becomes sore

Silences are ready to shout

Searching for a sign of position

To change the current condition

Overflowing from above

One solution outstands all; LOVE

Dad

Your daughter cried today

But you’ll never know why

Your daughter got put in a game to play

But you’re not even there to say by

Your daughter got her grade card

But you’re not there to see it

Your daughter is trying very hard

But is she the only one who doesn’t quit

Your daughter has a birthday

But do you know how old she is

Your daughter doesn’t know what to say

But all you can do is break a promise

Your daughter is living to her full potential

But she sure wish her father was

Your daughter is very comical

But you haven’t been with her since she believed in Santa Claus

Your daughter wishes you were here

She wants to enjoy life with you

Your daughter is showing you very clear

This poem should give you a clue

A Changed World

A kiss of betrayal to the cheek

A greeting no one would seek

Taken to His courageous embrace

For the destiny He would face

Standing firm in brave silence

The future would hold his defense

He was told all His life what was coming

And kept pushing forward through the beating

The vision of love despite a crowd chant of crucifixion

Mockery unknown to His task of submission

Piercing thorns, nails and skin unrecognizable

He brought His blood and body to the table

Commitment held Him tightly to the cross

Determined to be the sacrifice for the lost

Through humbleness and greatness, He was Lord

Creating the day for a changed world

Sea, us, God

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

The sea impacts the earth around

It as it washes upon the shore

A stone in the wide open blue

Moves ringed ripples more and more

The wind cascades waves of a 100

Shades of blue and green

A picture is painted so unique

It will never again be seen

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

The life we live impacts the world around

As we choose to declare Him as Savior

He reaches from our hearts to every

Outer edge with his un-denying favor

The spirit whisks together several of

Our God given gifts and abilities

Fulfilling a space and position in

A picture of so many beauties 

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

As if we were your created sea

We often need your movement

We need your spirit as a guide

So we can go as we are sent

And as the seas we come by

The tranquil waters shallow

Or through the depths so wide

Against the sun we will follow

So Near and Close

So near and close to my heart

All together touching each part

My guidance, Lord and Savior

It’s His will that I favor

Given life beyond compare

To lose Him I could not bare

There to answer every prayer

With His tender-loving care

To share his love and power

Is the mission so sweet and sour

I am here keeping the faith, staying bold

Until that day in Heaven, to walk streets of gold

Tommy Pants

In the dark and dreary high school hallways there was a bright and shining light. His name was Luke.

With his uncharacteristic style, you could spot him coming with a Duct tape back pack full of books. Of course, one book of importance remained at his side; a Bible which had a matching cover made from Duct tape. He was unique in most of his ways, setting himself apart from the high school norm.

In the middle of kids going in all directions trying to beat the line, gather their food choices and scramble to a seat, Luke would quietly say hello to friends, fold his hand and bow to pray. He wasn’t participating in his daily ritual, but simply thanking God for his food.

I didn’t know Luke for very long before he moved away for college. He probably will never remember who I was in the midst of the hectic lunchroom, but he was such an example in so many ways that I will never forget who he was and his character.

One particular lesson he embodied, I would like to share with others.

In addition to all the Duct tape, he also fashioned a pair of Tommy Hilfiger pants. They were plaid on one leg and probably a horrible color on the other pant leg. I just remember him telling me he had gone to a thrift store in search of the ugliest name brand outfit he could find to make a statement.

See, a little more than 10 years ago when I was in high school, Tommy Hilfiger was a big deal. For some kids, having Tommy clothes or similar name brand items gave them the notion they were better than the old Wal Mart shoppers.

However, Luke knew the value of someone didn’t rest within their clothing choices, so he made a statement. He could strut the halls with his Tommy pants, knowing how ridiculous they truly looked. He would sarcastically remark he was cool because he was wearing his Tommy pants, again, knowing they were anything but attractive.

The lesson of putting value to things by what we say and think has revealed itself more and more to me lately. A phrase I’ve heard and like states, “It is neither good nor bad, it just is.”

Often times we wrap ourselves in our own way of understanding a situation with misplaced value or judgment.

Proverbs tells us to lean not to our own understanding, but rather to God’s understanding with knowledge. You can also find references to Godly wisdom being worth more than choice gold or silver in the same book. Scripture such as this should be our guiding light leading us to value more important things according to God’s standards and His understanding.

Be careful not to add misplaced value to attire, name brands or maybe the latest fad, as it may leave you empty handed. Because, really, how do the designs Tommy Hilfiger or Ralph Lauren provide compare to what is offered by our Lord Jesus Christ? 

Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

You'll love Shutterflys award-winning photo books. Try it today.

Riding of collections

Everyone’s seen it. Walk into a house and a collection is apparent as an image is plastered upon the walls and setting in array about the room. The home owner's interest for a particular item is probably one topic of conversation brought to everyone’s attention as they enter the room.

For me, it was anything I deemed sentimental as a teen posted on every inch of my bedroom walls. When in college and after I got married, it was turtles. Turtle figurines, stuffed animals and who knows what else.  I was always captivated by reptiles and since snakes and lizards could become aggressive, I gained a fascination with turtles.

For some people it’s a different animal they love or a certain item that strikes a chord in their life. Either way, this is a common scenario. I’m not saying a collection of sorts is a horrible thing, but one day (don’t remember when), God revealed in my life to no longer spend my time, money and energy on finding space for countless turtle figures.

Aside from the perk of having less to dust (I hate dusting), not focusing on a collection of images freed time, money and energy to be put elsewhere. I no longer had to steer toward turtle merchandise in a store with the conclusion of having to make a purchase. I was free to simply make a comment of liking the turtle candle holder or whatever it was and move on.

This left more money in my husband’s wallet for other necessities in life. Of course, when I decided to get rid of much of my collection in a yard sale, my husband followed suit. He sold nearly all of his pricey John Deere items.

Our next step was convincing others not to lean to these types of purchases during the holidays. For others, buying the first green and yellow John Deere thing they found for a Christmas present was easy. We soon helped others understand John Deere products and turtle figures were unnecessary for our family. Now, when you walk into our home you will see an uncluttered space used for family life and love.

I’m not sharing this to criticize those who through years have built a collection. Many of my family members have such decorations within their homes without harming anyone. However, think about all the money put into a collection or just the space it takes to display or store a collection. When the light bulb came on for me, I hadn’t invested a great deal into my collection, but I am glad looking back I didn’t continue my collection. Those material items aren’t as important as I thought nor will they be carried out of this life. I would rather store up my treasures in Heaven and treasure what I love here on Earth, which is my family and friends.

I want to finish up with some Scripture. In Psalm 115:4-8 the paragraph explains how idols have the appearance of eyes, ears, nose, etc., but they are nonfunctioning. Those who make and believe in such idols are unproductive as well.

So, while a collection of images may not mean life or death for you, be careful not to allow such items to become idols in your home. When someone walks in my house, I don’t want them to be drawn to talk about an immense number of turtles on shelves. Rather, I would enjoy spending my energy discussing more meaningful parts of the life with which God has blessed me.

Fornication Among Church Goers

It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you… One of my favorite Christian R & B songs gives a message to move as God tells us because if we love Him then we will keep His commandments. ( Move by Flame) It targets several different areas of our life to do as the Word instructs, but one in particular I value is expressing the need to get out of relationships that are about shacking up rather than having a loving marriage parallel to Jesus’ love for the church.

 “You in that relationship, do you plan to marry her? Love her like Christ loves the church ‘til you burry her? You in that relationship, do you plan to marry him? Submit to him like you are the church or just worry him? If you’re not then pack it up, leave the temptation.”

 I love these lyrics from the song. The lyrics do not leave room for a gray area. We are not to be compromising within the church body when it comes to fornication, and yet we see this throughout our culture. According to facts found on guttmacher.org, the United States continues to have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the developed world. This is probably because by their 19th birthday, seven in 10 teen men and teen women have had intercourse. The Web site continues with lots of information regarding sex education in public schools, including those who use abstinence only educational programs. The programs target pregnancy and multiple partners as their discouragement.

 It astounds me when parents leave it up to the schools to complete all the teachings necessary concerning sex education. Shame on you, if you are a Christian parent and have not laid out a plan to have multiple discussions with your children about sexual intercourse. It should not be a taboo topic, as it was when I was a child.

All my lessons on such issues were given to me by a couple sex education programs running through a few of my classes beginning in sixth grade and ending in my junior in high school. That’s a total of approximately 5 hours my entire teen years for formal education and facts. In addition, television and talk among peers gave tidbits of information.

Sadly, my church-going parents as well as my church gave me the least guidance in this area of life. Occasionally, I heard how bad it was to be sleeping around, and how it doesn’t portray a positive image. I was never told how this type of union with man and woman can become a beautiful part of marriage nor that sex is actually necessary for a healthy marriage.

Of course, I also learned later how so much of what we physically do in a relationship affects you mentally and spiritually. I’m proud to say because a counselor took the time to have an intimate conversation with Brandon (my husband) and I at an engagement retreat, I took a completely different view of sex and we saved that union for after we made our life commitment to one another. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen for most teens.

Even with my engagement to Brandon, this was such a life alternating experience, and meant a great deal to our relationship. (So, even if you are engaged, sex is for after the I dos.)

 When someone has little guidance they blindly follow one action to the next leading to an unknown destination. I wonder how this has an effect on the many teens I hear moving into a bedroom with one another.

 I started this article with words from 1 Corinthians chapter 5. Paul is addressing the church about fornication found among them and gives word to put away the wicked. The Bible I am reading from is a teen bible with devotions, or challenges periodically throughout the Scripture. In this case, it says that Christians should beware of other Christians who intentionally keep sinning.

In my opinion, this is where so many of the church members knowingly flow into the sanctuary with the person they slip into bed with as an unmarried couple. (Notice I say church members, not Christians, as only God knows if they are truly following Christ)

 This Bible reads, “Do you have a friend whose behavior drags you down day after day? Step back and think about taking a break from them for a little while. If they ask why, be honest.” I want to emphasize, BE HONEST. Be honest and use the mouth God gave you to share His word about this thing so many dance around called fornication. Just because it is the norm to shack up and you can find every “reason” in the world for why a couple “has” to live with that type of arrangement, does not flower it up enough to make it okay. Fornication is still wrong, but while this is very true, sexual intercourse is still very right for those God has joined together.

 So, take time to read what God says about this big part of life. I mean, it’s how God creates life. And then, pass the knowledge God gives you to others. It doesn’t have to be a hushed topic.

short & sweet

Found an old poem I wrote in a notebook while helping Autumn practice her letters... so figured, why not throw it up here.

A prayer long forgotten
in its simplicity
told in secret and
thought to be lovely
brought about a relationship
in its purity

A perfect match
him to her
set on rotation
with love and splender
giving all thanks
to our Creator

Too many lanes in my head.

I have definitely neglected my blog on a personal basis. I cheat and just slap on articles I have written and call it a day. However, this morning I felt like just chatting in a more informal manner.

Life is crazy, especially, when my brain works faster than I can keep up. I have the joy of tackling parenthood with the two most unique, beautiful girls. I am not longer working outside the home full time, so much of my time is spent at the house doing mommy duties. I'm not complaining, makes for a very flexible schedule, which is probably why I always have a million things going on at once.

They (not sure who this encompasses) say a woman's brain is like a multi-lane interstate. Thoughts and ideas traveling in all directions all at once. We, as women, have the task of grabbing on to one of these lanes and running with it, hoping we don't get a mile down the road and switch to another lane. This describes me in a nutshell.

When I first decided I would not have the opportunity to return to work full time after giving birth to my second daughter, I thought that I could probably become a substitute teacher ( I have my Missouri Sub. Certification). Later, I jumped on the idea I could watch a child or two at my house. In May I will begin watching an infant part time. I have also thought about extending my writing into free lancing for fun. Of course, now I have taken hold of my love for photography, hoping to nurture the love into a small business to enjoy some time outside the home.

In addition, my full time position as a mother brings along an agenda. The highway of motherhood has picnics at the park, play dates when possible, doctor appointments, gymnastics and educating my 3-year-old with kindergarten readiness, and that's just the tip of the ice berg.

Oh, and we cannot forget my time spent planning mealtimes and cleaning house. On most days, my husband is blessed to walk in from work shortly after 5 p.m. to a hot meal traveling from the stove to his plate. Plus, I'll be managing our veggie garden soon since we just planted cucumbers, bell peppers and tomatoes. I sometimes have time to do couponing for groceries as well. Just writing about all this can make someone exhausted.

Most importantly, it is my desire to take on the massive interstate of lanes running through my life in a way that is pleasing to the Lord with His will for my family in mind. This is a big load on my shoulders. Probably why my favorite time of the day is in the quietness of a hot shower, that is, if it isn't interrupted by a 3-year-old yelling from a distant, "Mommy," with what is a desperate need of some sort.

So, when 8 or 9 p.m. approaches, yes I am tired. And even if I appear to have done nothing for the day, just all this running through my brain is enough to wear me out.

With that in mind, my computer time is coming to an end. I have to get two kids ready to go out the door, which takes way too much time. I have to feed a baby who at 5 months old continues to refuse a bottle. I have to take my 3-year-old to gymnastics where I pray she listens to the teacher the majority of the time without trying to kill herself for the pure joy of falling to the floor. I have to run by a store having a sale on some items I need to pick up for my photography and a party I am hosting this weekend. All of this before lunch.

Of course, keep in mind, I might be tired, but I have a smile in the midst of this hectic lane switching because I know I am blessed.