Some of my Poetry

After having a friend show me some of her work, decided to post my old poetry from when I was a teen or early 20s. Remember, some of these were written when I was in high school. :) I'd like to think that I've matured in my writing since then. Of course, it is still nice to look back and see where I've come from.

Question of Faith

Trying to see what was in his heart

Not knowing where to start

Love, life and laughter

Are these what really matter?

He asked me time and time again

This is how we began

I knew not how to respond

He wanted that special bond

Thinking through and taking a chance

I breathed in and told him yes

The simple solution

Jerk, jab and smack

All are convenient for a physical attack

But what about the emotional state

How does this contemplate?

In the soul all the hurt and torture

Keeping you from being pure

All these opposite forces

Violence, death cruelty and divorces

Just a few of much more

The inner body becomes sore

Silences are ready to shout

Searching for a sign of position

To change the current condition

Overflowing from above

One solution outstands all; LOVE

Dad

Your daughter cried today

But you’ll never know why

Your daughter got put in a game to play

But you’re not even there to say by

Your daughter got her grade card

But you’re not there to see it

Your daughter is trying very hard

But is she the only one who doesn’t quit

Your daughter has a birthday

But do you know how old she is

Your daughter doesn’t know what to say

But all you can do is break a promise

Your daughter is living to her full potential

But she sure wish her father was

Your daughter is very comical

But you haven’t been with her since she believed in Santa Claus

Your daughter wishes you were here

She wants to enjoy life with you

Your daughter is showing you very clear

This poem should give you a clue

A Changed World

A kiss of betrayal to the cheek

A greeting no one would seek

Taken to His courageous embrace

For the destiny He would face

Standing firm in brave silence

The future would hold his defense

He was told all His life what was coming

And kept pushing forward through the beating

The vision of love despite a crowd chant of crucifixion

Mockery unknown to His task of submission

Piercing thorns, nails and skin unrecognizable

He brought His blood and body to the table

Commitment held Him tightly to the cross

Determined to be the sacrifice for the lost

Through humbleness and greatness, He was Lord

Creating the day for a changed world

Sea, us, God

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

The sea impacts the earth around

It as it washes upon the shore

A stone in the wide open blue

Moves ringed ripples more and more

The wind cascades waves of a 100

Shades of blue and green

A picture is painted so unique

It will never again be seen

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

The life we live impacts the world around

As we choose to declare Him as Savior

He reaches from our hearts to every

Outer edge with his un-denying favor

The spirit whisks together several of

Our God given gifts and abilities

Fulfilling a space and position in

A picture of so many beauties 

Shake me that I might stir for you

Talk to me that I might speak of you

Move me that I might walk in you

For it is you I long to pursue

As if we were your created sea

We often need your movement

We need your spirit as a guide

So we can go as we are sent

And as the seas we come by

The tranquil waters shallow

Or through the depths so wide

Against the sun we will follow

So Near and Close

So near and close to my heart

All together touching each part

My guidance, Lord and Savior

It’s His will that I favor

Given life beyond compare

To lose Him I could not bare

There to answer every prayer

With His tender-loving care

To share his love and power

Is the mission so sweet and sour

I am here keeping the faith, staying bold

Until that day in Heaven, to walk streets of gold

Tommy Pants

In the dark and dreary high school hallways there was a bright and shining light. His name was Luke.

With his uncharacteristic style, you could spot him coming with a Duct tape back pack full of books. Of course, one book of importance remained at his side; a Bible which had a matching cover made from Duct tape. He was unique in most of his ways, setting himself apart from the high school norm.

In the middle of kids going in all directions trying to beat the line, gather their food choices and scramble to a seat, Luke would quietly say hello to friends, fold his hand and bow to pray. He wasn’t participating in his daily ritual, but simply thanking God for his food.

I didn’t know Luke for very long before he moved away for college. He probably will never remember who I was in the midst of the hectic lunchroom, but he was such an example in so many ways that I will never forget who he was and his character.

One particular lesson he embodied, I would like to share with others.

In addition to all the Duct tape, he also fashioned a pair of Tommy Hilfiger pants. They were plaid on one leg and probably a horrible color on the other pant leg. I just remember him telling me he had gone to a thrift store in search of the ugliest name brand outfit he could find to make a statement.

See, a little more than 10 years ago when I was in high school, Tommy Hilfiger was a big deal. For some kids, having Tommy clothes or similar name brand items gave them the notion they were better than the old Wal Mart shoppers.

However, Luke knew the value of someone didn’t rest within their clothing choices, so he made a statement. He could strut the halls with his Tommy pants, knowing how ridiculous they truly looked. He would sarcastically remark he was cool because he was wearing his Tommy pants, again, knowing they were anything but attractive.

The lesson of putting value to things by what we say and think has revealed itself more and more to me lately. A phrase I’ve heard and like states, “It is neither good nor bad, it just is.”

Often times we wrap ourselves in our own way of understanding a situation with misplaced value or judgment.

Proverbs tells us to lean not to our own understanding, but rather to God’s understanding with knowledge. You can also find references to Godly wisdom being worth more than choice gold or silver in the same book. Scripture such as this should be our guiding light leading us to value more important things according to God’s standards and His understanding.

Be careful not to add misplaced value to attire, name brands or maybe the latest fad, as it may leave you empty handed. Because, really, how do the designs Tommy Hilfiger or Ralph Lauren provide compare to what is offered by our Lord Jesus Christ? 

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Riding of collections

Everyone’s seen it. Walk into a house and a collection is apparent as an image is plastered upon the walls and setting in array about the room. The home owner's interest for a particular item is probably one topic of conversation brought to everyone’s attention as they enter the room.

For me, it was anything I deemed sentimental as a teen posted on every inch of my bedroom walls. When in college and after I got married, it was turtles. Turtle figurines, stuffed animals and who knows what else.  I was always captivated by reptiles and since snakes and lizards could become aggressive, I gained a fascination with turtles.

For some people it’s a different animal they love or a certain item that strikes a chord in their life. Either way, this is a common scenario. I’m not saying a collection of sorts is a horrible thing, but one day (don’t remember when), God revealed in my life to no longer spend my time, money and energy on finding space for countless turtle figures.

Aside from the perk of having less to dust (I hate dusting), not focusing on a collection of images freed time, money and energy to be put elsewhere. I no longer had to steer toward turtle merchandise in a store with the conclusion of having to make a purchase. I was free to simply make a comment of liking the turtle candle holder or whatever it was and move on.

This left more money in my husband’s wallet for other necessities in life. Of course, when I decided to get rid of much of my collection in a yard sale, my husband followed suit. He sold nearly all of his pricey John Deere items.

Our next step was convincing others not to lean to these types of purchases during the holidays. For others, buying the first green and yellow John Deere thing they found for a Christmas present was easy. We soon helped others understand John Deere products and turtle figures were unnecessary for our family. Now, when you walk into our home you will see an uncluttered space used for family life and love.

I’m not sharing this to criticize those who through years have built a collection. Many of my family members have such decorations within their homes without harming anyone. However, think about all the money put into a collection or just the space it takes to display or store a collection. When the light bulb came on for me, I hadn’t invested a great deal into my collection, but I am glad looking back I didn’t continue my collection. Those material items aren’t as important as I thought nor will they be carried out of this life. I would rather store up my treasures in Heaven and treasure what I love here on Earth, which is my family and friends.

I want to finish up with some Scripture. In Psalm 115:4-8 the paragraph explains how idols have the appearance of eyes, ears, nose, etc., but they are nonfunctioning. Those who make and believe in such idols are unproductive as well.

So, while a collection of images may not mean life or death for you, be careful not to allow such items to become idols in your home. When someone walks in my house, I don’t want them to be drawn to talk about an immense number of turtles on shelves. Rather, I would enjoy spending my energy discussing more meaningful parts of the life with which God has blessed me.

Fornication Among Church Goers

It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you… One of my favorite Christian R & B songs gives a message to move as God tells us because if we love Him then we will keep His commandments. ( Move by Flame) It targets several different areas of our life to do as the Word instructs, but one in particular I value is expressing the need to get out of relationships that are about shacking up rather than having a loving marriage parallel to Jesus’ love for the church.

 “You in that relationship, do you plan to marry her? Love her like Christ loves the church ‘til you burry her? You in that relationship, do you plan to marry him? Submit to him like you are the church or just worry him? If you’re not then pack it up, leave the temptation.”

 I love these lyrics from the song. The lyrics do not leave room for a gray area. We are not to be compromising within the church body when it comes to fornication, and yet we see this throughout our culture. According to facts found on guttmacher.org, the United States continues to have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the developed world. This is probably because by their 19th birthday, seven in 10 teen men and teen women have had intercourse. The Web site continues with lots of information regarding sex education in public schools, including those who use abstinence only educational programs. The programs target pregnancy and multiple partners as their discouragement.

 It astounds me when parents leave it up to the schools to complete all the teachings necessary concerning sex education. Shame on you, if you are a Christian parent and have not laid out a plan to have multiple discussions with your children about sexual intercourse. It should not be a taboo topic, as it was when I was a child.

All my lessons on such issues were given to me by a couple sex education programs running through a few of my classes beginning in sixth grade and ending in my junior in high school. That’s a total of approximately 5 hours my entire teen years for formal education and facts. In addition, television and talk among peers gave tidbits of information.

Sadly, my church-going parents as well as my church gave me the least guidance in this area of life. Occasionally, I heard how bad it was to be sleeping around, and how it doesn’t portray a positive image. I was never told how this type of union with man and woman can become a beautiful part of marriage nor that sex is actually necessary for a healthy marriage.

Of course, I also learned later how so much of what we physically do in a relationship affects you mentally and spiritually. I’m proud to say because a counselor took the time to have an intimate conversation with Brandon (my husband) and I at an engagement retreat, I took a completely different view of sex and we saved that union for after we made our life commitment to one another. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen for most teens.

Even with my engagement to Brandon, this was such a life alternating experience, and meant a great deal to our relationship. (So, even if you are engaged, sex is for after the I dos.)

 When someone has little guidance they blindly follow one action to the next leading to an unknown destination. I wonder how this has an effect on the many teens I hear moving into a bedroom with one another.

 I started this article with words from 1 Corinthians chapter 5. Paul is addressing the church about fornication found among them and gives word to put away the wicked. The Bible I am reading from is a teen bible with devotions, or challenges periodically throughout the Scripture. In this case, it says that Christians should beware of other Christians who intentionally keep sinning.

In my opinion, this is where so many of the church members knowingly flow into the sanctuary with the person they slip into bed with as an unmarried couple. (Notice I say church members, not Christians, as only God knows if they are truly following Christ)

 This Bible reads, “Do you have a friend whose behavior drags you down day after day? Step back and think about taking a break from them for a little while. If they ask why, be honest.” I want to emphasize, BE HONEST. Be honest and use the mouth God gave you to share His word about this thing so many dance around called fornication. Just because it is the norm to shack up and you can find every “reason” in the world for why a couple “has” to live with that type of arrangement, does not flower it up enough to make it okay. Fornication is still wrong, but while this is very true, sexual intercourse is still very right for those God has joined together.

 So, take time to read what God says about this big part of life. I mean, it’s how God creates life. And then, pass the knowledge God gives you to others. It doesn’t have to be a hushed topic.

short & sweet

Found an old poem I wrote in a notebook while helping Autumn practice her letters... so figured, why not throw it up here.

A prayer long forgotten
in its simplicity
told in secret and
thought to be lovely
brought about a relationship
in its purity

A perfect match
him to her
set on rotation
with love and splender
giving all thanks
to our Creator

Too many lanes in my head.

I have definitely neglected my blog on a personal basis. I cheat and just slap on articles I have written and call it a day. However, this morning I felt like just chatting in a more informal manner.

Life is crazy, especially, when my brain works faster than I can keep up. I have the joy of tackling parenthood with the two most unique, beautiful girls. I am not longer working outside the home full time, so much of my time is spent at the house doing mommy duties. I'm not complaining, makes for a very flexible schedule, which is probably why I always have a million things going on at once.

They (not sure who this encompasses) say a woman's brain is like a multi-lane interstate. Thoughts and ideas traveling in all directions all at once. We, as women, have the task of grabbing on to one of these lanes and running with it, hoping we don't get a mile down the road and switch to another lane. This describes me in a nutshell.

When I first decided I would not have the opportunity to return to work full time after giving birth to my second daughter, I thought that I could probably become a substitute teacher ( I have my Missouri Sub. Certification). Later, I jumped on the idea I could watch a child or two at my house. In May I will begin watching an infant part time. I have also thought about extending my writing into free lancing for fun. Of course, now I have taken hold of my love for photography, hoping to nurture the love into a small business to enjoy some time outside the home.

In addition, my full time position as a mother brings along an agenda. The highway of motherhood has picnics at the park, play dates when possible, doctor appointments, gymnastics and educating my 3-year-old with kindergarten readiness, and that's just the tip of the ice berg.

Oh, and we cannot forget my time spent planning mealtimes and cleaning house. On most days, my husband is blessed to walk in from work shortly after 5 p.m. to a hot meal traveling from the stove to his plate. Plus, I'll be managing our veggie garden soon since we just planted cucumbers, bell peppers and tomatoes. I sometimes have time to do couponing for groceries as well. Just writing about all this can make someone exhausted.

Most importantly, it is my desire to take on the massive interstate of lanes running through my life in a way that is pleasing to the Lord with His will for my family in mind. This is a big load on my shoulders. Probably why my favorite time of the day is in the quietness of a hot shower, that is, if it isn't interrupted by a 3-year-old yelling from a distant, "Mommy," with what is a desperate need of some sort.

So, when 8 or 9 p.m. approaches, yes I am tired. And even if I appear to have done nothing for the day, just all this running through my brain is enough to wear me out.

With that in mind, my computer time is coming to an end. I have to get two kids ready to go out the door, which takes way too much time. I have to feed a baby who at 5 months old continues to refuse a bottle. I have to take my 3-year-old to gymnastics where I pray she listens to the teacher the majority of the time without trying to kill herself for the pure joy of falling to the floor. I have to run by a store having a sale on some items I need to pick up for my photography and a party I am hosting this weekend. All of this before lunch.

Of course, keep in mind, I might be tired, but I have a smile in the midst of this hectic lane switching because I know I am blessed.