I continue to neglect my blog, but enjoyed this writing so thought I would share.
Essay for
Ministry Class
In the moment when all commotion ceases, where
the noise transcending the air dulls and clarity rushes your mind and soul
despite the atmosphere seen through physical eyes, it is at this moment when no
doubt can push aside the presence of God in your heart. I have experienced
these moments where God makes the things of this life seem so simple, and yet
have other times where I tug to fight confusion for my next step forward.
However, when all the dust settles the truth will always remain, and the truth
is, God has placed purpose in my life.
I have always had the inclination I was mostly average
in just about every area of life. When I was younger I automatically assumed
God gave talents and those talents depicted how someone was called to serve God
in ministry. Within this concept I have never found myself to really fit into
and clique. I could not carry a tune, so worship leading was not for
considering. I never felt lead to preach; studying is not my forte. Due to a
difficult childhood, dealing with the older generations through a nursing home
ministry did not stand out to me, and I was usually quite terrified of
traveling. Therefore, my options were diminishing. My prayer as a young teen
trying to search out my calling from God turned into a cry to experience
motherhood knowing I could cling to the role of parenting.
Of course, now I have been able to grow up
some, and while I have been granted the position of Mommy, I have learned so
much more about God’s ministry work beyond this title. First, I do not need a
talent in any field. I need only to have willingness. After all, it is His
ministry, not mine. There is not much use in attempting to place God in my box
when His capabilities far outweigh my own. So, when I try to answer the
question as to why I feel called into ministry, it is because I could not
imagine anyone not called. Ministry can take many forms. Typically, we perceive
it as a genre of work that progresses the church body. While my efforts are not
to weaken this perception, I feel God’s ministry comes in the form of merely
sharing His truth and love. Granted,
there are those who taint His ministry by jumping into a position trying to
utilize tools God has not equipped them with, but if broken down to its purest
form there would be features of God’s truth and love missing replaced with
selfishness or fleshly desires. God’s truth and love are key components to
ministry’s recipe and we bring willingness to the table. These aspects along
with others are then orchestrated to further the will of God; His will that
none should perish. I feel called because there is a fire of willingness unexplainable
leading me to act within God’s truth and love.
Along with the feeling of being called to serve
God through ministry, He takes the time to direct and guide me. He has sent me
in several directions, but cleverly to areas of teaching in most cases. When I think
about children learning, I feel as if I would move those mountains to make
clear a way for them to see the God we serve more undoubtedly. The cloud of
smoke from the enemy firing shots around our children is thick and deceiving. I
take responsibility in swatting away the smoke for a better picture of the
truth and love God would have them see. Being raised in a family wrapped in hypocritical
religion, rarely did I feel loved or valued. It was only when I experienced the
true love God offered me did I wipe the scales from my eyes, and this is a
process which continues as we grow closer to Him. I want to make available
myself so God can have others have this experience and others with Him.
Overall, I feel called to work with children. I
will work with them where ever God puts me. Currently, I have been giving the
opportunity in a few different areas. He has opened the door in my home to
minister to my children. I pray He will hear my cry to open our home up to more
children in the future through the means of adoption. Time will tell, but I
have faith he will make adoption a reality. I could write more than three pages
alone on the ministry of adoption and how it relates to our Heavenly Father
adopting us into His family. Also, I have had the privilege to lasso the Girl’s
Ministry for our church. There are so many bumps along the way. One moment I
will feel empowered in this ministry and in the next breath I will feel
overwhelmed. It takes a great deal of trust to lean to God and not my own
understanding in all ministry work. It is a great deal of work and with each
stride I tend to question my capabilities in some areas while remaining
confident in others. I see God touching the lives of the girls involved with
this ministry and while I am rewarded with the time I spend with these girls, I
also want them to feel loved and valued. The desire I have for the girls to
learn who God is and to make the relationship they have with Him real triumphs
my skittish thoughts in the processes.
Similarly to the Girl’s Ministry, I have the
opportunity to work with girls through coaching basketball. This is a dream
come true for me. Aside from God saving my soul and reaching out to me, playing
basketball when I was a teen was another lifeline I held tightly to in the
darkest parts of my life. I am able to push girls to greater lengths they might
have otherwise not known they were capable of and all the while having a lot of
fun. Many of the challenges they face on the court can be a direct replica of
areas of difficulty off the court. Some might see a game or a sport, but when
looking closer there is a picture painting examples of real life. In all
ministry work, there is an opportunity to display the examples God has outlined
for us through truth and love.
The only clear vision I have for the future of
the ministry work I am involved in is to continue to provide those examples of
the true Word of God and His love. I am willing to take the measures necessary
to move in the right direction with my ministry work, but my prayer at the end
of the day will always be for God to have His will and move me accordingly.
