Oh no, I’ve fell into the pit of neglecting my blog. If
anyone knows me, usually, my blogs are insight toward a subject I feel lead to
write about concerning a topic God has given me. Not that this is any
different, however, the following blog will be a little more personal and not
so structured.
This morning consisted of a picture many families are familiar
with as an attempt is made to avoid the snooze button and roll from the comfort
of a blaring fan and cozy covers with the task of awakening the cubs. My first
bear to stir is Autumn. The fact that she isn't a morning person doesn't even
begin to describe the adventure presented by each morning. She is a limp body
of Jell-O while I spray through the crazy curls and use a comb to tame any
strands possibly with full knowledge the mess will creep back around three in
the afternoon. My second bear it quite
familiar with crocodile rolls and screeching while changing the diaper.
Nevertheless, we make it through our morning routine and crawl into the vehicle
so taxi-Mom can transport eldest bear, Autumn, to school.
While scurrying to her seat today, Autumn informed me of a
message I had given her the night before. She told me that Jesus wants everyone
to be nice (kind) to each other. This is what I had told her in light of her
and her sister screaming and fighting in the car ride home from church. I was filled
with the joy with my daughter grasping a very valuable concept, and it was at
this moment I stopped and had one of those flash back moments. A flash back to
all the struggles we have been through together with Autumn in several areas of
life.
I don’t recall ever mentioning this on my blog, so some may
know and others not, but Autumn has been diagnosed with a couple of conditions which
create difficulties. And unless you have lived with us, it is sometimes hard to
understand what a label might mean for us. After years of good moments and
rough ones, this label Autumn has is now just a big testimony to what God can
do and change.
You see, Autumn has an anxiety disorder called Selective
Mutism, and she struggles daily with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. While
these words are foreign to many, they have been a motivation jumping board for
us to send us in a good direction.
Dealing with Autumn and who she is with these two aspects of
her personality is a journey, one without a clear destination at this point. Though,
we are thrilled as we have a magnifying glass on the progress. We give God
glory for such changes we see even when it may seem very small. One big change
that has manifested throughout the last several years is her verbal
capabilities in a school setting.
When she was 2 and half years old, we placed
her in a daycare while I worked full time. She spent six months in one facility
and never spoke a word to anyone. She was getting hurt and the teachers
bypassed her since she was so quiet. Round 2 took place at another daycare
facility for 6 months where she only spoke a couple of words very quietly to
her peers when she felt no one was looking or listening. A year passed where
she stayed in my care with her sister, and then when I went back to work this
last time we were able to place her in a private school setting at age 4. She
did remarkably well speaking after about 4 months, but still struggled. She had
her limitations and continued to refuse verbal responses to most questions,
especially when they pertained to education type material.
What’s so amazing is comparing what she was so long ago to
where she is now. Last week she began her first week in a pre-K program (Yes,
we let her have another year of pre-K instead of starting Kindergarten early
according to her birthday). The first day when she jumped in the vehicle after
school, I asked her and her teacher if she had ate anything because with her
anxiety sometimes she won’t eat in front of others or in loud crowded areas.
The teacher told me she had eaten a cheese stick and yogurt. Autumn looked at
the teacher and spouted off that she had ate a banana also. To any other
parent, this simple interaction would have come and gone with little regard.
Not for me. I was doing a touchdown dance inside. Not only
had she ate her food, which is a huge hurdle for her, but she has just spoken out
loud to her teacher on the very first day of school.
Since that day, her teachers have informed me that she
speaks openly with them in small group settings and has been very outgoing. We
have not had any problems with her eating her lunches at school. I can’t even
begin to explain how big of an accomplishment this is for her in the school
setting.
As you can tell, this was not an overnight accomplishment
either. As parents we have had lots of prayer time and recently, had the privilege
of traveling to Chicago for a weeklong camp where counselors worked one-on-one
with Autumn in a school setting to face her fears and teach her to replace her
fear with brave. While she was being worked with, Brandon and I were in the
parent meetings soaking in as much as humanly possible from the psychologist
and the parents of other children with similar issues.
I just want to stop here and say, it was so great to see
that there were other parents in the same boat with us. It was beginning to feel
very lonely with the criticism we have faced as parents. Sure, there are those
who believe Autumn is young and her behavior linked to these diagnosis is only
a stage, and yes, we could have went on some elaborate vacation with the money
required for this camp, but when she spoke to her teacher on the first day of
school, it was priceless.
It would take me all day to describe what we were faced with
in the past and how different life with Autumn is now. Sure, we still face
daily nail-biting frustrations with parenting a child like Autumn where sensory
processing is a task in itself, but those few successes along the way and the
tiniest of miracles we see are fuel to get us further along in our journey.
Autumn is precious with purpose, and right now, I’m
convinced that purpose is for Brandon and I to become the parents God intended
us to be for these cubs and any in the future.
