What do you value...

So, there has been tons on my mind for a little while now, and I've decided I might write some to keep my brain from kicking into overload.

I’ve been approached a number of times in a number of areas with regard to what I value.  It’s quite typical and at times a positive aspect of life to bring into question our values. And it shouldn't surprise many there are those superior humans who have taken the role of doing this for others; after all, it’s always a great service to point out differences that might lead others to conform to our higher ways of thinking. You might note here I enjoy sarcasm, especially in light of our fleshly nature, since we have the tendency to think we have it all together when it’s really just a yarn ball mess of loose ends.

I’ve heard quite often what we invest our time, energy and resources in is usually evidence for what we value in life. So, with this logic, you could conclude I value, eating, shelter, warmth, church, and my family among other things. Of course, while these areas of my life are apparent, there are those areas of our lives hidden behind doors. What’s so amazing to me is those things aren't really hidden at all, not from a God when He holds our transparent heart in His hands.

I wonder what He might see as being valued by us through our daily activity in action. I bet there are those who have regard for things like, this world, this life, our comfort, the easy way, and of course we can’t forget me, myself and I. I mean, half the time I hear a testimony of what God has done in someone’s life it is filled with uplifting one’s self in an attempt to gain attention. Really look at comments you've made, Facebook statuses posted, and maybe even prayers you've prayed and see how many times you refer to yourself rather than the power of God. Let me stop right here and let you know, I’m not writing to point fingers on the big rotten spot on your fruit, I am just getting these words out there and noticing my own decay of unrighteousness.

The first hang-up I mentioned was this world. Which brings me to James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Anything this world has to offer should be a red flag for us to turn in the opposite direction. In fact, we need maybe to run or sprint the other way. This world and its breeding ground for corruption is the last thing we need as God continues a separation in a time of harvest (Matthew 13). I’ve seen those wrapped up in their favorite television show, favorite political discussion, or an image set before as an idol for what we think life should be like disguised as an American dream. None of which should be of high value in our lives when taking into account our eternal life.

Anyone can see comfort and the easy way is a concept served on a silver platter by our culture. Have someone else do all the work for us and we will enjoy its produce. This is quite saddening and very present in the typical church environment. We go to a service in a building where fellowship serves us well, and we tend to forget all the dedication and hard work behind the scenes by those who are truly following after God’s mission He has called us to fulfill. Granted, we can’t all be the same part of Christ’s body as the church, but I must have missed the section declaring sitting and enjoying everyone else’s blessing without freely giving of ourselves as a working body part.

All of those values leading us to corruption and a sad ending are those wrapped in self. It’s quite clear there is something bigger, something bigger than just my happiness, my fulfillment and my existence. We all have our own areas where self flares its big head. Personally, I don’t have the problem of being wrapped in making myself a pretty image for the world to see. It’s a rarity for me to take the time for makeup, and yet, I’ve heard others say they couldn’t step out the door without putting their face on for the day. Really, is that the face you want to construct?  I also don’t take lightly the jobs God has given me and neglect His commission to be a parent. I won’t leave my kids to the wolves in sheep clothing. It is an area of life where I tend to be more assertive. But, then again, it doesn’t mean I don’t have my own areas where values should come into check.

However, with all this said and the simple knowledge given where values are those things in life we give energy, time and resources; I have to add a little something. It is those things we will sacrifice for, die for and live everything for, that are valued more highly. Now don’t jump to any conclusions. I’m not here to provide you a hierarchy of things to value. It should be God first and then He will assist you in all other areas. Trust me; it took me a little while to realize this after being fed the list of God, husband, children, church, blah blah blah. In a moment by moment life, God is the one who should keep our motives and values in check, not the prideful person with a telescope on one eye and a beam in the other.

With all this rambling, just try to remember when we sacrifice, die for and live everything for the mission God has set before us; we can see a bigger picture worth valuing.   

A long time coming…

Oh no, I’ve fell into the pit of neglecting my blog. If anyone knows me, usually, my blogs are insight toward a subject I feel lead to write about concerning a topic God has given me. Not that this is any different, however, the following blog will be a little more personal and not so structured.

This morning consisted of a picture many families are familiar with as an attempt is made to avoid the snooze button and roll from the comfort of a blaring fan and cozy covers with the task of awakening the cubs. My first bear to stir is Autumn. The fact that she isn't a morning person doesn't even begin to describe the adventure presented by each morning. She is a limp body of Jell-O while I spray through the crazy curls and use a comb to tame any strands possibly with full knowledge the mess will creep back around three in the afternoon.  My second bear it quite familiar with crocodile rolls and screeching while changing the diaper. Nevertheless, we make it through our morning routine and crawl into the vehicle so taxi-Mom can transport eldest bear, Autumn, to school.

While scurrying to her seat today, Autumn informed me of a message I had given her the night before. She told me that Jesus wants everyone to be nice (kind) to each other. This is what I had told her in light of her and her sister screaming and fighting in the car ride home from church. I was filled with the joy with my daughter grasping a very valuable concept, and it was at this moment I stopped and had one of those flash back moments. A flash back to all the struggles we have been through together with Autumn in several areas of life.

I don’t recall ever mentioning this on my blog, so some may know and others not, but Autumn has been diagnosed with a couple of conditions which create difficulties. And unless you have lived with us, it is sometimes hard to understand what a label might mean for us. After years of good moments and rough ones, this label Autumn has is now just a big testimony to what God can do and change.

You see, Autumn has an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism, and she struggles daily with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. While these words are foreign to many, they have been a motivation jumping board for us to send us in a good direction.

Dealing with Autumn and who she is with these two aspects of her personality is a journey, one without a clear destination at this point. Though, we are thrilled as we have a magnifying glass on the progress. We give God glory for such changes we see even when it may seem very small. One big change that has manifested throughout the last several years is her verbal capabilities in a school setting. 

When she was 2 and half years old, we placed her in a daycare while I worked full time. She spent six months in one facility and never spoke a word to anyone. She was getting hurt and the teachers bypassed her since she was so quiet. Round 2 took place at another daycare facility for 6 months where she only spoke a couple of words very quietly to her peers when she felt no one was looking or listening. A year passed where she stayed in my care with her sister, and then when I went back to work this last time we were able to place her in a private school setting at age 4. She did remarkably well speaking after about 4 months, but still struggled. She had her limitations and continued to refuse verbal responses to most questions, especially when they pertained to education type material.

What’s so amazing is comparing what she was so long ago to where she is now. Last week she began her first week in a pre-K program (Yes, we let her have another year of pre-K instead of starting Kindergarten early according to her birthday). The first day when she jumped in the vehicle after school, I asked her and her teacher if she had ate anything because with her anxiety sometimes she won’t eat in front of others or in loud crowded areas. The teacher told me she had eaten a cheese stick and yogurt. Autumn looked at the teacher and spouted off that she had ate a banana also. To any other parent, this simple interaction would have come and gone with little regard.

Not for me. I was doing a touchdown dance inside. Not only had she ate her food, which is a huge hurdle for her, but she has just spoken out loud to her teacher on the very first day of school.

Since that day, her teachers have informed me that she speaks openly with them in small group settings and has been very outgoing. We have not had any problems with her eating her lunches at school. I can’t even begin to explain how big of an accomplishment this is for her in the school setting.

As you can tell, this was not an overnight accomplishment either. As parents we have had lots of prayer time and recently, had the privilege of traveling to Chicago for a weeklong camp where counselors worked one-on-one with Autumn in a school setting to face her fears and teach her to replace her fear with brave. While she was being worked with, Brandon and I were in the parent meetings soaking in as much as humanly possible from the psychologist and the parents of other children with similar issues.

I just want to stop here and say, it was so great to see that there were other parents in the same boat with us. It was beginning to feel very lonely with the criticism we have faced as parents. Sure, there are those who believe Autumn is young and her behavior linked to these diagnosis is only a stage, and yes, we could have went on some elaborate vacation with the money required for this camp, but when she spoke to her teacher on the first day of school, it was priceless.

It would take me all day to describe what we were faced with in the past and how different life with Autumn is now. Sure, we still face daily nail-biting frustrations with parenting a child like Autumn where sensory processing is a task in itself, but those few successes along the way and the tiniest of miracles we see are fuel to get us further along in our journey.

Autumn is precious with purpose, and right now, I’m convinced that purpose is for Brandon and I to become the parents God intended us to be for these cubs and any in the future. 

Responsibility for your child's education system...

After taken from my fish-bowl mini-world yesterday (which occurs periodically), I am left gasping, looking to catch my breath in the sight of a huge component to our big picture, the educational system of this world.

Never have the words “train up your child” meant so much to me. Yes, as a mother, I am my child’s first education source, and I view this role with highest regards. In addition, I have the responsibility of monitoring all sorts of educational input as well.

And it’s not like the education system makes it easy for parents. As a college-grad, I myself find following the maze of explanations to the school system a tricky business. I can only imagine the frustrations from other parents trying to get a grip on curriculum goals and expectations being presented to their children. Most remain ignorant to what goes on in the classroom while the remainder of parents who have a deep desire to be informed are weighed down by confusion.

Granted not every parent has the opportunity to come sit in a different classroom a couple days a week, but that is just how I have gained a large portion of my knowledge to the working classroom concerning the school system. (I’m a visual learner.)

Sure, board members may define learning standards, but as those instructions trickle down through officials, staff and teachers, learning standards are sometimes morphed by the time they reach students. Sadly, a child attending a new school, in an upper-class neighborhood with a highly involved principal may breed good ground for successful teachers planting seeds for learning while 10 miles in another direction there are different circumstances. Those different circumstances often lead to a student body scarce of the much needed learning standards being preached to parents.

Many times a student’s education is directly related to the teacher and for parents this is a risk they face in large public school systems. Will my child fall into a well structured class where the teacher takes measures necessary to make the environment positive and enriched with appropriate learning or will they get a teacher with a personality clash, inflexible and who falls into instilling unwanted morale lessons in the children’s minds?

The risk may seem of no importance to some or they may not have other options to avoid this risk of the unknown. Others have sought out additional educational choices through homeschooling or with private school, and in some cases, a mixture of both.

Of course, no matter the decision parents make for their children, they need to be mindful of the education their children are receiving.

I’ve set in classrooms where children progressed through the day learning new concepts and building from previous gained knowledge in an appropriate environment. However, I have also encountered burned-out teachers wading in negativity, inappropriate music for movement time, staff more concerned with screaming and surfing the Internet than with a teachable moment, gossip running ramped, and that doesn't even dip into deep end of some things happening across schools every day.  

Now, I'm not saying private or home schools are immune, but parents tend to have more proactive weight and involved decision making, and that is what your role as a parent-educator is all about.

It’s about parents getting back into the driver’s seat when it comes to all of their child’s education, not just occasionally in the areas they feel most comfortable. If God holds a Pastor accountable for his sheep (congregation), how much more are we responsible for the children we have in our homes?

It frustrates me when parents hit roadblocks in their child’s education and are left with the feeling they have no other option. There are always choices to be made. Make the choice to push, to be involved, to be your child’s advocate, to make sure your child has an appropriate education.

What a friend I have..

I have a dear friend. A friend who rarely leaves me hanging when I have a question or would need information on a ray of topics. When others approach me for guidance in an area I am uncertain of, I simply refer them to my friend who tends to be a great help. My friend is always close by, easy to reach and knowledgeable in all areas of life anyone might encounter.

Wondering who my friend is? His name is Google.

Yes, I first began my friendship with Google in college and when working as a reporter, Google developed into my go-to resource.

When in need of information not coming quickly to mind or covering genres I don’t have previous experience with, I typically turn to Google.

So, with all this in mind, I began thinking why it is that Google is my go-to resource while Scripture is just casual reading material?

2 Timothy 2:15 says to study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly diving the word of truth.

This commonly known piece of the Word is often spoken as a reminder to study Scripture to show ourselves approved. Approved to whom? God. That’s a big statement in itself, but it goes on to say, this studying thing helps us divide information according to the Word of Truth.

The Bible is our ultimate resource as it expresses what is TRUTH and connects us to God. The words are words from our Creator.

John 1:1 says In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.

I’ve heard people say they need guidance from God and they are praying to hear a word from Him. While I’m not saying this is a bag concept, many times we bypass the fact that the Bible is a form of His spoken word and always offers guidance. Often times, the Bible is sitting on a shelf, while we blindly pretend to search out His will for our lives or His direction in our everyday situations.

I’m as guilty as the next. If someone were to ask me a question my usual response has been, “Google it.” Sadly, I have missed the opportunity to instead tell others to search it in Scripture.

When we have a question in regard to a situation, need advice or would like to give direction to a friend in help, our wisdom, knowledge and truth should be a source hooked into the Word of God to allow accurate leading of the Spirit.

I believe it is our tendency to forget the value in the word that God gives us. Sure, Google seems to be a popular search engine, but what about developing a friendship with the Word as our go-to resource for life’s questions and concerns. This would mean a change in habit and perspective.

We need to stop, out of habit, relying on the things offered to us by man and man’s understanding and come to understand His Word is not just printed material in a very large book, but rather, a powerful tool to use outlasting any other resource available.

Sure, Google might be replaced with Bing or Yahoo when Google is un-operatable, but the greatness of the Bible is it is always applicable and will never leave us.

Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth shall pass away; but my words shall not pass away. 

A devotion entry

I've wrote a summary before about my life's tstimony, so this is the condensed version.

I came from a  very hard and difficult childhood. The flowers were wilted in my garden and I lacked water. I only peered through an old discolored window envisioning something better than what was surrounding me. I knew nothing of a world worthy of happiness. What I understood was constant disappointment and heartbreak.

Tears would trickle across my face each night as a young girl hoping for my dad to come back again. I wanted a close realtionship with him so badly but knew I could not make him choose me over the things of the world. Of course, once I learned of a heavenly Father who did want me, my life changed.

I don't remember the exact date when God revealed Himself to me through salvation but the image of that day is burned within my heart forever. The day began with me preparing for my grandmother to take me to VBS at church. The only time I was able to attend church functions or services was when my grandma rescued me from my life of shambles for the day.

At VBS I requested prayer for my dad as I had many times before. A lady prayed in a way I was unfimilar with, and she seemed to bypass my request for my dad and instead prayed for salvation for my family. I knew church allowed me to escape, but I didn't know of the personal relationship being offered with open arms.

It was later that evening when I was getting ready for bed that my loneliness was creeping up again ready to show it's ugly head. I had come to a crossroads where, even at age 9 or 10, I felt I had a choice to make concerning my future. Would I continue crying in exhaustion for others to make a move on my behalf, or would I be adopted in by the Heavenly Father I had casually heard about in the midst of craft time. I decided that night was the last one I would spend crying tears of pain from a lonely torment and instead God began a work in my life to turn those tears into joy.

Joy came in the morning for me, and I could never express my gradititude for God's adoption plan.

This Evening’s Dream: An actual account of my dream.

Most people might chuckle at the remembrance of some of the bizarre ideas and pictures created within their dreams at night. Our minds can take what we see, think or imagine and throw those thoughts together in what can sometimes be comical situations beyond what is our reality.

For some reason I’ve never felt the need to chuckle in the face of my dreams. In fact, there are times I dread remembering my dreams so vividly when I wake. I don’t recall details of these dreams often, but when I do, they are powerful and so real they linger with me throughout the day.

See, I believe that God uses our dreams sometimes as a communication tool.  It is in this realm that I have a better understanding of the fear of the omnipotent God I serve. I am no longer in the way of His spirit. The power kick to my mind and emotions can bring tears to my eyes all day after a dream. Today this is where I am at after such an intense message shown to me as I woke from last night’s dream.

I find it odd, but first I must let you know that I don’t always dream from my own perspective. It’s like a novelist who writes from a character’s perspective. So, with this in mind, the following is what I recall from my dream.

He (the perspective of an adult man) found himself in a pool of dead, mutilated bodies of all ages. His first thought is, am I the only survivor of such horrific killings? But while that thought quickly fades, he realizes the danger and now with every part of himself seeks to get as far away from the catastrophic destruction and deadly mess that surrounds him. While inching his way through the surrounding blood and bodies, he comes across one other man who surprisingly is still living. The living man has also fell prey to the mutilation and has had his arms cut off.

Determined to escape the center of this evil and danger that is ever approaching, he decides he is going to get away and he is taking the living man without arms with him. Propped on his shoulder is the weight of the injured and their quest to leave has begun. Of course, before he runs away from the felt danger, he needs to know where he is going.

It becomes clear to him the seriousness of the danger is from armed authority figures at every corner ready to kill as people come closer to the center of the city. He understands he is the only one wanting to leave the city. All others are acting as if tourists cheerfully mesmerized by the city becoming more consumed with what they were being shown through wall-size glass windows instead of viewing the danger waiting for them in the center of the city. The danger they blindly grew closer to was authority figures ready to create a blood bath.

The man, now accompanied by an injured man, hid in different areas as he went further and further away from the city’s center and while doing so, he tried so earnestly to shout at all the people being led the other way. He wanted so badly for them to hear his warning, but they ignored him with their eyes glazed over by the city’s attractions.

There was only one small child who heard him and joined his escape journey. It was a young boy not blinded by the city’s glamour. The three were successful in going through the maze-like city until they reached the top of hills and seen in a distance the beautiful sight of lavish green grass with thick, waving trees in the country side.  They had found safety!

This is at what point I woke up in total awe of my deep feelings of relief and at the same time sorrow. I had felt the intense rushes associated with escaping hundreds of armed men. With my knowledge of Scripture, this dream was nothing to wince at and go on my merry way. I laid in bed going over the images that had engulfed me, making sure not to forget the details.

Messages in the dream were made apparent as I had just finished reading the last chapter of Revelation the day previous to this evening’s dream. I began to think about how people are heading in two directions, destruction or life. My heart began to weep for those so blinded by what they were being shown in narrow-mindedness unable to open their eyes wide enough to see a glimpse of God’s picture.

My pondering was made short as everyone else in my house was up and moving getting ready for church, so I joined them. Riding next to Brandon, I decided to share with him what I have just shared here. I explained the whole dream could be summed up by the idea that people are being led to the slaughter house unaware. This alone caused a few tears for the normally unemotional person that I am.

We pulled into the church parking lot and went about our business, but still I could not erase the images of this dream that continued to flash in my mind. I focused in on every word people were expressing in Sunday School and then during church service. I was seeing if I could find some direction in what to do with the dream that was so real to me. Just thinking about it now makes my heart race a little faster.

Sure enough, the message preached by Pastor was such an intense and provoking one. It was to set us moving forward for the goals of the coming days in the new year. However, there was one statement ringing louder in my ears than probably most others. He said if you have a vision you should write it down and run with it. So here I am writing down the vision God gave me. Now I know he was speaking of vision in terms of goals and to move in God’s will for my life, but I pulled a little from this in terms of the dream God had given me and decided to write about it. In the past, I have had similar dreams. Usually, the dreams that rock me to my core are the ones I rarely share with too many people. However, I decided to break away from censoring the material I provide for those taking the time to read my words.

I am writing this dream in hopes to help splash my eyes with some living water and open them a little wider so to avoid the path blinded by the deceitfulness in a city of destruction and encourage someone else to do the same.